Home alone

So I’ve been alone for ten days now, and it has been a whirlwind of doing whatever I want, deep cleaning, missing my wife and kids, and studying. I’ve watched so many things streaming, I’ve gamed, I only eat when I’m hungry enough to feel it, it’s actually been nice in that respect. The one problem I’m having is that as I am deep cleaning, my back is getting wrecked worse and worse from the Ankylosing Spondylitis. Today is the tenth day of 30, yet it is the second time I’ve had to take off from almost everything due to pain. 

I have had two days out of ten whereas I wasn’t deep cleaning a large house, working, and on the go, and that was because my back gave out on me almost entirely. So today, like once before during my being home alone, I am sitting in a chair, hardly able to walk down the stairs and to the kitchen. I’ll be honest, it’s a bit depressing, especially since I can pick up each of my 120-150 lb sons and walk around with them with ease when it isn’t so bad, and that I’d given so much of my life to the martial arts…

…but that’s life’s way of pushing us out of our comfort zones and forcing us to grow as people. I am alive, I have a place to stay, I have food and clean water, I have a computer and the internet, I’m doing pretty swell. I have a wife and kids and a mother who loves me, Life could be a lot worse. I am working on strengthening the muscles to support my back issues, but this may in fact be my new normal, so not the end of the world, more like a new beginning. 

While this may be a vacation for the kids, it has not been so much for me (cleaning and in pain from it) and my wife (as she has all four kids by herself). That’s who this whole excursion was for though, the kids/grandparents, and they are having an amazing time out there, with their amazing mother at the helm. Having to celebrate Shabbat and Havdallah alone, was a whole new experience, I much prefer it together with Sam and the kids. So for me, this is in no way a vacation…

All of that aside, I’ve been working very hard (aside from cleaning) for Beyond Barriers and on a secret project my wife and I have been working on that’s going to launch soon. I’ve been studying and practicing Judaism, it’s pretty much my life, and even have another meeting with my Rabbi tomorrow (which I’m uber excited about). I’m always looking to the sunny side of life, even when bad things happen, and that’s really a first for me too. 

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