Being well known and changing

I have been a well-known figure for decades and for various reasons, some good and some not so good. I hate the term famous, when a person proclaims themselves as “famous,” it feels pretentious and makes the person seem shallow, so I say well-known. Being well-known means that when I make public changes in my life, many different people who know me from different avenues have questions and comments. This has been both positive and negative, but mostly positive, as the only negativity I’ve gotten has come from my past in extremism.

Let’s go into the negative first…

I was a very well-known extremist leader and so when I left that life behind, I caught a bit of hate, which intensified as word grew that I was willfully working to combat it. I received a few, “If I see you on the streets,’ threats and quite a few, “[insert race] lover,” comments as well. Yes, I am a lover of whatever race you hate, so that’s really not much of a derogatory thing to me and threats are a dime a dozen and utterly meaningless. I’ve been stabbed, cut, hit with sticks and batons, shot once in the shoulder, jumped and so much more, that threats of violence mean little to me, I’ve been to hell and back. 

 

I was very well known in the occult, having brought Luciferianism into the mainstream back in the mid-1990s, writing three books on it, giving lectures in front of millions online, working in occult shops, and running the Church of Lucifer (with over 10k members) for nearly 30 years. I was also a part of several “Secret-societies,” which hold some degree of infamy in the occult world. This is where much of my answering questions has come from, as people couldn’t believe that I’d leave 32 years as an occultist behind me and accept Hashem and Judaism as an integral part of me. 

I didn’t receive a lot of negativity honestly, and I credit the open-mindedness of the occult for why I could accept and love Hashem and leave that life behind me. I didn’t have any negative experiences (no hurting kids or sacrificing life) and don’t have horror stories involving the occult, I just found Judaism and God through it and fell in love. 

I have a lot of respect for the occult paths still, but they are not for me any longer. Hashem has my whole spirit and heart and always will, and Judaism is my spiritual home, which many who had questions respected. I left the Church of Lucifer in capable hands and formally stepped away to pursue my life in Judaism and to build a closer connection with God. 

I was the one-man band in the Goth/Industrial music act D-Lux, doing all lyrics, vocals, midi, keyboards, guitars, pre and post mastering, etc… through five albums and a single. My music became fairly well known in the club scenes and I’ve been recognized in some of the oddest places (Once followed around a grocery store by two ladies who kept asking if I was D-Lux). When I first got together with my now wife, she’d had my entire discography to my surprise. This was 15 years ago, and while I ceased recording, I am still a musician singing, playing drums, Cajon, keyboards, bass guitar, learning guitar, and more to this day.

Some of my CD’s

Due to my being in the light for music so long ago, many have forgotten about me and few know the massive changes that have been made in my life. I do plan on releasing more music in the future, but it will be more Jewish-themed and praise for Hashem-oriented. 

 

I was first published in 2007 by the largest independent publisher in the world and my first book was even translated into Chinese and approved for sale in China by the government. I write horror/macabre short stories and poetry and compile them into books, whereas after each short story, there’s a poem. My last book “Inferno of souls,” was published in 2018 and I am currently working on another as I write this. 

Most of those who are fans of my writing know little about me personally, so my changes haven’t really had an impact on my readers. I have thought about writing a tell-all autobiography in the future, in hopes that those who follow my written work will learn more about me and so that it can help others with a similar past. 

I have been an artist for most of my life and at age 40, began painting and selling my art. What draws many to my art is that I am legally blind, having lost my left eye at five and with a degenerative vision loss in my right eye, which I have around 15% vision in today. I have sold over 200 pieces of art over 3 years (as of 2021) around the world, to the famous, affluent, and average people alike. 

Most think of me as an anomaly, and support my work because it is different and I am handicapped, yet can produce visually striking pieces. Many of those who own pieces of my art have been fully supportive of my changes and I’ve been asked a few times now if I’ll be painting Jewish art as well, which I will in fact be doing. 

Some of my many paintings

Being an Irish Laird, any changes I make that are positive influences others to make more positive changes as well and are very well received. This is something I take very seriously in my duties and hope that it reflects upon the youth to make better decisions and to promote peace and love among all people globally. This has also been a journey that I am glad to have made publically and I believe that it can help a great many individuals to learn my story and to see my personal growth as a testament to change and hope.

Most people who are fans of mine for one reason or another have been amazingly supportive (I love y’all) and only those still living negative lives have had anything negative to say (misery loves company).